While catching up on the exploits of the Industrial Jazz Group's
THE ANSWER.
Yes.
Although I haven’t run any clinical trials or case studies, I do believe that I have come up with THE ANSWER for all the musicians out there asking, “just how do I make a living playing music?” Best of all, it has absolutely nothing to do with Craigslist (or Myspace).
Before we go any further, I need to set things straight. I’m not totally convinced that I should even be sharing this sensitive information. But I feel that, without providing this service to humanity, I may someday die with a severe sense of regret. That being said, THE ANSEWR is really in two part form (with a very important third part that you’ll want to pay attention to).
The first part is simply: “Make a living? Playing music? IMPOSSIBLE. Cannot be done.”
?????????
Yep. Sad but true. And it’s not like this is the first time you heard it either. In fact, this debate has really become cliché. It is simply unfeasible, and highly impractical to think that a suitable long-term career choice would be that of a performing musician. That is, if you want to eat and stuff…
Luckily, for those who will refuse to heed the realities of our modern socio-economic landscape, there is an element that, when introduced, manages to twist, if ever so slightly, the crushing finality of impossibility. You feeling me? This is part two. If you what to name it, call it the Chaos Assumption. Somewhere, somehow, some gigantic butterfly is furiously flapping its wings so that you may get a shot at becoming the next Phil Collins.
The Chaos Assumption makes the totality of 100% impossibility fallible by 0.0000012% (give or take a few billions of a percent). This is just enough of a tilt to allow the chance of a profitable musical career, if ever so slight. But a chance it is…
Now that the door has been wedged open and allowed us a glimpse of the fluorescent glow of possibility, you still need that finial component, or, for a feeble metaphor: that crucial first corner piece of the puzzle. It will get you started down the road toward musical fulfillment and economic viability. By the way, this is that third part I was referring to earlier. That element? It’s the elusive spark of curiosity, the magnetic draw of inquisitiveness, the critical quotient in the COOL = COOL algorithm… I’m talking about HYPE.
Yep. So simple, just like Einstein. I almost named my dog Einstein. But that was because he’s dumb, so that’s not the same thing at all. Anyhoo…
Don’t laugh. HYPE will get you farther faster than any display of talent or skill or virtuosity. I know too many insanely talented, creative people who scrape by so close that their knuckles bleed. They got no HYPE.
That crappy art-punk band that you sat through four even crappier art-punk bands to see cause Pitchfork gave them a 9.2, that’s HYPE. Madonna? She is HYPE perfected. Now, you’re probably thinking “OK, so if HYPE is the crucial part of THE ANSWER, how do I get the HYPE?” And you would be right to ask this. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured that part out yet and I was hoping someone could tell ME.
New Music Strategies also has a ton of more interesting things to say on the topic of career launching in this digital age. If that’s your bag, I recommend checking them out.
